L&S Q&A
Q. What have Lane and Sorrow done? What can they do for me?
A. Detectives Jess M. Lane and Lola dam Sorrow formed the Lane & Sorrow love detective agency in the spring of 2005. Their first client was the boy Lane had recently dumped. They focus on solving the crimes of the heart, specializing in finding out who has crushes on who, who touched what parts of who, and the identity of your drunken one night stand. ("Who was that girl that I slept with last night? She had brown hair...and a...umm...vagina?") Rates are negotiable. Your discretion is our first priority.
Q. Are Lane and Sorrow gossips?
A. No. Gossips don't have offices.
Q. What is the Inquiry Line (206-337-1830)?
A. The Inquiry Line is for leaving messages of love gripes, secrets, complainy or crushy shit your friends are sick of hearing, and ultimately, case fodder. It is completely anonymous, and we encourage you to call at any time of day or night. Rest assured that you will not speak to an actual person upon calling the Inquiry Line. The number is: 206-337-1830.
Q. How do I employ the agency's services?
A. Telephone the Inquiry Line as listed above or, less favorably, email detectives@laneandsorrow.com.
Q. I heard that Lane has been sleuthing rather promiscuously.
A. Detective Lane was involved in the widely praised prime-time detective drama Teen Homicide. Episodes have been archived here.
Q. Can I join the agency if I am dating, or have dated, detectives Lane or Sorrow?
A. No.
Q. How did Sorrow lose that eye?
A. During training. Oh, and it was shameful!